Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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