He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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