My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
