4 words: hood of his car
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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