Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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