He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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