i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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