SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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