he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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