my sisters under your porch take her home
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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