yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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