She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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