Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
