He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
