as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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