tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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