Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Acid is not a monday night drug
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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