Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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