seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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