BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
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