Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
