hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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