Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
