He is an equal opportunity slut.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
