They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
