He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize