Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
