Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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