New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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