You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
