I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
