I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
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someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
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In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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