before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
