I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
