so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
