I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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