She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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