I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
