I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
