Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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