I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
