I'm drive I can fine osifer
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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