Whod you bang
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
