So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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