i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize