As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
