You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
