Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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