Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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