Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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