I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
