Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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