She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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