i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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