the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
