He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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