Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
honey bunches of taint.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
