I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
