does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
